The Need For Conspiracy Theories

Believe it or not, but sometimes I actually wanna write about something other than comics. I know, scary thought. So let’s talk about the internet’s favorite past time besides kittens and boobs: conspiracies.

Conspiracies have always fascinated humans. The thought that someone could have come up with a highly complex plan to create a false flag operation to invade a foreign country for its natural resources. And why yes, I am talking about 9/11. But here’s the deal: most of the conspiracy theories that people talk about and believe to be purposefully created are not such events. And the thought that nothing of this event, to stay with the example of 9/11, that at no point the US government was in a position of absolute control, that some demented extremists, who had set their mind to their perverted task, were just able to take two planes and fly them into nerve centers of American life, commerce and defense, that frightens people. Fear. The main reason for the existence of conspiracy theories.

Conspiracy theories are a coping mechanism. I have often heard from people about their fear of the puppet masters, the secret cabal of shadowy figures that meet in some castle high up in the Swiss mountains and decide the destiny of the world. That our existence is dictated by them, that every facet of human society is guided by them, that all the atrocities are explainable, have a reason, that might frighten people, but I believe it also comforts them, thus the reason for the conspiracy to begin with. Because I believe that there is one fear that is greater than the secret cabal of secret world rulers who are really secretive: the idea of no puppet master at all.

Scene from Avengers: Age of Ultron, captioned

This is truly my greatest fear. Imagine for a moment that all of human society is a bus slowly driving towards a ravine, as satirist and comedian Volker Pispers once said, but now imagine that no one is actually driving, yet the bus is still driving towards the edge and we can’t, or rather won’t, do anything about this. The idea of a puppet master, though frightening in its own right, is also comforting because it absolves humanity of both its own fault in current disasters. The current conflict in the Middle East was not caused by short sighted European and American interventionism and terrible reshuffling of the world regardless of ethnic lines during and after the Versailles Peace Treaty, done by people who really hadn’t the faintest idea of what they were doing, it was the puppet masters. 9/11 didn’t happen because of gross negligence on the part of security agencies and terrorists who really set their mind to the task and succeeded to outfox a security apparatus that, until then, was though to keep its populace safe. Better to believe in a puppet master and blame once actions on him, then to realize there are no strings, there have never been strings, and all that happens is random or self-inflicted.


Author: Alex

Full time student, part time "writer" of things.

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